“This land was made for you and me.”

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And all beings.

I pinned the above photo with quote some time ago. Recently, “I P” left a comment and I felt compelled to respond. Below is our conversation. I know most vegans have heard the same rationalizations from omnivores. There’s the variation on the hypothetical “desert island” scenario, the “plants activist” and “God made me do it” route, and the “I’m compassionate!” and “I’m more compassionate than you!” routine. I’ve encountered this last bit before and it baffles and disturbs me the most.

I checked out her Pinterest boards and wasn’t surprised to find she was religious, a Trump supporter and Hillary hater. Against GMOs, though. With 99% of Americans being omnivores, however, it’s important to remember that just as many liberals are meat eaters.

I P
Even more so the human unborns being slaughtered every minute of every day!
3d

Vegan Spinster
Why even more so? All life is precious ūüíöūüĆĪ‚úĆ
3d

I P
Human life is more precious than animals and trees and whales and dogs and
3d

I P
If you were in a burning building with animals, whom should I rescue first?
3d

Vegan Spinster
Human life wouldn’t be possible without non-human animals and trees. Rescue whoever you see first. ūüíöūüĆĪ‚úĆ
3d

I P
Wow! Guessing I value you more than you. That’s ok. Have a great and marvelous day.
3d

Vegan Spinster
All life is precious ūüíöūüĆĪ‚úĆ. I wish you peace.
2d

I P
The Lord is my peace.
2d

I P
And you’re absolutely correct, all life is precious including all my chickens, my wild doves, my dogs and all the other dogs I have rescued.
2d

I P
And the girl I adopted at 3 weeks.
2d

Vegan Spinster
Do you eat and/or wear animals? If so, what makes their lives less precious?
2d

I P
Then why eat at all if trees, and animals are too precious? I love veggies and meat. I do not overeat nor believe in game hunting for the fun of it. God provided us with many resources and the free will to chose. It is our duty to take care of this planet, brother and beasts.
2d

Vegan Spinster
Fruit trees and bushes and veggie plants don’t have central nervous systems, and most willingly drop their fruit or are picked of fruit or veggies again and again.
2d

Vegan Spinster
As a meat water, you eat more plants than I do because animals eat enormous amounts of plants before being slaughtered for human consumption.
2d

Vegan Spinster
How does striving to cause the least amount of suffering and including all beings in my circle of compassion equate to me valuing your life less?
2d

“If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere.”

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Photo: Mitzgami/Instagram

Not this New York. This New York.

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(Mother Nature Network) Upstate New York.

Yes, I moved to New York. To be closer to my mom, to have a support system I failed to find in DC, to pay off debt, to save, to live a more meaningful, joyful, peaceful life. I said I’d never move here. It speaks volumes of my desperation that I’m here. Not that Rochester’s a bad place. Not that my mom’s a bad person. She loves me, as much as she can love anyone when she doesn’t love herself. As with my sister and dad, she doesn’t love ¬†me unconditionally. Why is this conditional love so common among family? Not condition, really, but a grudging love, an envious, angry, bitter, impatient, and competitive love. Is it a¬†narcissistic, masochistic, passive-aggressive strain that’s passed down through generations,¬†or a more¬†recent¬†construct?

Whatever the case, like Obi Wan Kenobi, she’s my only hope. OK, that’s a tad fatalistic. Still, ten days here and I had to cancel what was to be our first “Girls’ Night” at my new place tonight because I need a break. I want to be there for her as much as I need her help. I absorb people’s energy, however, and she oozes negativity from her pores. I understand. I know why she¬†sees the bad in everything,¬†but I won’t subject myself to it without end.

I can’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m an alien, I’m a legal alien.”

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I grow weary of the racist, uninformed rhetoric regarding illegal immigrants in the US. Have those that wish them thrown out asked themselves why they’re here? (Hint: research NAFTA.) Do they know the top five industries that hire undocumented immigrants are farming, fishing and forestry, building/ground cleaning and¬†maintenance, construction, food preparation and¬†serving, and transportation?

For example, illegal immigrants make up a third of US slaughterhouse workers. If you¬†want them out so badly, why do you support the industries that hire them? More importantly, who’s going to build the Walmarts and Targets, clean their bathrooms, serve your fast food, drive you to the airport, and kill your bacon and eggs when they’re gone?

“Many undocumented immigrants in the US already contribute a great deal to the country‚Äôs economy, according to a new report from Bank of America Merrill Lynch (BAML). That report noted that in 2014 unauthorized immigrants had a labor force participation rate of 70% compared to 62.9% for the overall population.

BAML also cited research that refutes the notion that America‚Äôs roughly 11 million unauthorized immigrants might be ‘taking’ jobs from US citizens.

[A] study from the National Bureau of Economic Research shows that immigrants are imperfect substitutes for native US workers due to different occupation choices and skills and immigration has a positive effect on the average wage of US-born workers overall, BAML noted.”

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/trump-clinton-immigration-economy-000000410.html

“I can’t tell you why.”

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Fifteen years ago, I became a vegetarian. I couldn’t tell you why. It just occurred to me and I did it. Nine years later, it occurred to me to become a vegan. I couldn’t tell you why…then.

Now I know. My sister and I suffered physical and emotional abuse as children. I watched in terror as she bore brutal punches and kicks, ashamed that I was too scared to save her.

I know that the idea and decision to become a vegetarian, then a vegan, formed from witnessing violence against her and a growing abhorrence of all violence. I couldn’t save my sister, and I can’t save the world. I can, however, stop participating in and condoning violence perpetrated against all beings to the best of my ability.

The inner peace gained by becoming a vegan resulted from my living in closer accordance with my values, listening when something inside me said, “You need peace. Let’s find you some peace.” I’d never known it. Ever-increasing knowledge about the unconscionable suffering of so many threatens to destroy that peace, but I strive every day to hold fast to it. It’s far too precious to lose.

“Slip Slidin’ Away”

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It is terrible, and I haven’t¬†the “luxury” of being a fiction writer. I absorb reality at its worst (and best, but the worst sticks more), then scribble or tappity tap pages about it. I can’t help it. I didn’t choose to write about this¬†frigging life. I must, or KABOOM! My head will explode.

Adopting a vegan¬†lifestyle gifted¬†me with inner peace and patience. Soppy, but true.¬†Unfortunately, like many vegan newbies I started reading about¬†animal agriculture. A lot. Joined the vegan community on Facebook and was inundated with articles, graphic videos, and photos highlighting the horrors. I handled it OK for a while. Was¬†saddened by “angry vegans'”¬†hate-filled rants towards all humans, daily crying jags, sleepless nights. Now I’m an angry vegan.

Knowledge is power but it’s painful, too. Growing pains. I can’t un-see or delete what I’ve seen, read, and heard. I understand more than ever how images and sounds haunt others day and night. How a peacenik can be poisoned by hate and anger and hopelessness. Slowly, like a¬†nagging¬†wife by her browbeatened husband. And I hate myself most of all for allowing others’ behavior to affect my own. I won’t live that way again. I didn’t survive all I have¬†to succumb to such useless, negative, and¬†fleeting (if I let it be) garbage.

I’m needed, dammit. I’m no good to the animals, Earth, and you as a hopeless, overwhelmed, hate-filled, non-blogging, angry vegan. And I’m no good to myself. I count, too.

 

 

 

 

 

Diary of a Mad Woman

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See these¬†spiral-bound journals? Five of them 300 pages each? Full. I’ve written 1500+ pages in five years. That’s at least five books (or one¬†Infinite Jest-length tome). I don’t dare read¬†them. I know what¬†I’ll find. Despair, hate, sadness, loneliness, and anger, peppered¬†with lyrics, quotes, entreaties, pleas, and promises to let go, move on, forgive, forget, live, love, and write–to write being the most important. For me, writing is a means of letting go, moving one, forgiveness, forgetting, living, and loving myself, then all others. I can’t imagine¬†telling someone¬†that their¬†1500+ pages don’t count because they’re not published! Why do we treat ourselves so badly?

I beat myself up everyday. Call myself a fat, lazy fuck. Procrastinator. Horrid word. The world’s population could line up and, one by one,¬†call me a cunt and¬†spit in my face.¬†I’d laugh¬†at them. Call¬†or treat¬†me like¬†worthless waste of space, however, and “Hello, psych ward.” The worst bit is that I care what you think of me. Everyday¬†I must re-learn¬†not¬†giving¬†a shit what you think of me, or what I think you think of me. It’s exhausting to care so much about the wrong things.

I won’t¬†rehash the reasons behind my lifelong war¬†to like and love myself. I’m sick of writing about them, reliving them, and allowing them power over me. Sovereignty. I came across that word yesterday while re-reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s¬†How to Relax. How easily I’ve¬†gifted my¬†sovereignty to others. No wonder I feel out of control, panicky, and overwhelmed. Teetering on¬†madness. I risk losing the hard-earned patience and inner peace I gained such a short time ago. It scares me and I won’t stand for it.

Today, I, a writer of many books, write in my journal and here. For nobody else but me.

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Animals are too good for this world.

So I’m holding an immunity-boosting yoga pose and a scene from this film disturbs my peace. Again. I shake my head as my eyes pool with tears. Again. It’s seared into my consciousness. A poor animal’s mouth is bound, then a man inserts an electrocution devise into her anus. Her cries of pain are stifles as she dies for her fur. I see and hear her so clearly. It’s devastating.

Please rethink buying leather, wool, or fur. Please consider watching this film. It’s less than an hour in length. Thank you.